The holiday of Tu Be’Av, which this year is celebrated from the evening of July 28 until the end of July 29, 2026, derives from the Hebrew words “Tu” (the numerical value of the Hebrew letters ט״ו, meaning 15) and the Jewish month of Av. Tu Be’Av is sometimes referred to as the “Jewish Valentine’s Day,” but there is no proper justification for this comparison.
Why the Comparison with Valentine’s Day Is Incorrect
Valentine’s Day on February 14 is based on a Catholic tradition. Its origins are probably connected to an ancient Roman fertility festival. Because Valentine’s Day has become a major commercial event, the same terminology is sometimes applied to Tu Be’Av.
I consider this comparison completely inappropriate, because Tu Be’Av is an exceptionally holy day—one that is even compared to Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. Although in modern Israel this day is often called “Chag Ha’Ahavah” (the Festival of Love) and has also become associated with commercial activity, Tu Be’Av is far more than a commercial success.
The Origins of Tu Be’Av
According to the Babylonian Talmud (Ta’anit 30b–31a), Tu Be’Av marked the beginning of the grape harvest, while Yom Kippur marked its conclusion. On Tu Be’Av, the unmarried young women of Jerusalem would wear white garments that they borrowed from one another. They would then dance in the vineyards, where young men could choose a bride.
Why Is Tu Be’Av a Day of Celebration?
The reason for the joy of Yom Kippur is clear. On that day, all sins between human beings and G-d are forgiven. But why is Tu Be’Av, occurring only six days after Tisha B’Av—our national day of mourning for the destruction of the First and Second Temples—also considered a day of great joy?
The Talmud lists six reasons for the celebration of Tu Be’Av. Two of them are directly connected to marriage.
1. Marriages Between Different Tribes Were Permitted Again
After the Israelites entered the Land of Israel, the prohibition against marrying someone from another tribe was lifted on Tu Be’Av.
For example, if Leah from the tribe of Shimon (Simeon) wished to marry Jacob from the tribe of Reuven (Reuben), this was once again permitted.
During the Israelites’ journey through the wilderness, the Torah wanted to prevent inherited tribal lands from being transferred from one tribe to another. Therefore, women who inherited land were required to marry within their own tribe. Once the Land of Israel had been divided among the tribes, this restriction was removed.
2. The Tribe of Benjamin Was Reintegrated
During the period of the Judges, the tribe of Benjamin became involved in serious wrongdoing and was temporarily excluded from the community. No one was permitted to marry their children to members of the tribe of Benjamin.
However, when it became clear that this would lead to the disappearance of one of the twelve tribes of Israel, this marriage prohibition was largely lifted (Judges chapters 19–21).
A National Day for Matchmaking
Shidduch means a match or marriage arrangement. Tu Be’Av developed into a national day for finding one’s future spouse.
To prevent social differences between rich and poor, all young women borrowed white clothing from one another. In this way, no one could distinguish herself through expensive or more beautiful garments.
The Talmud explains that the beautiful girls drew attention to their appearance. Girls from distinguished families emphasized their yichus (ancestry and family background) and highlighted the importance of a good family lineage. Those who considered themselves less attractive called upon the young men to marry leshem Shamayim—for the sake of Heaven—in order to build a home dedicated to serving G-d.
Love with a Higher Purpose
The national shidduch day was entirely dedicated to the Jewish concept of marriage. A Jewish marriage is called kiddushin—sanctification.
Celebrating love alone is too superficial. Jewish marriage serves the continuation of our Divine mission. Love is an indispensable part of marriage, but love without a higher purpose, without direction and without holiness is often temporary and unstable.
Without spiritual depth, love can even turn into its opposite. Love needs guidance; affection requires spiritual orientation. A committed and sacred framework is essential.
From Destruction to Rebuilding
Only a short time after the greatest national tragedy, Tisha B’Av, we celebrate the continuation of Jewish life through the Jewish home and family. That home is our true sanctuary.
Yom Kippur and Tu Be’Av
Yom Kippur restores peace between G-d and humanity.
Tu Be’Av creates peace within the family and the home.
Together, these two holy days form two central pillars of Jewish life: reconciliation with G-d and the sanctification of human love.
